Nardwuar vs. Ron Jeremy!

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Ron, what about some unsung porn legends like Jeff Stryker? What can you tell us about Jeff Stryker?
Thatís an unsung porn legend? Heís the highest paid male porn actor probably in the country. Next to John Bobbitt, heís had the highest salary of any actor ícause he does gay movies. Thatís where the man can be the big star. In straight porn...

This can be you! Did Peter North begin in gay porn?
Yes, I hate to admit that ícause heís not crazy about that fact, yes. He used the name Matt Ramsay. Do you guys have any of his tapes? Yes? Oh jeez!! Yes he did some. People donít know this. He says on camera when he does interviews, they say, "Did you ever do gay porn?" He goes, "Well, I just jerked off and masturbated at a distance. I made no contact with any guys" (laughs).

What about Mike Horner, whatís he doing?
Heís directing a couple of movies. Heís still in the business.

Heís a good guy. He looks like a really good guy.
These are unsung legends? Youíre picking guys everybody knows. Maybe unsung legends might be Arbola or Bobby Astor or Richard Pacheco, Jack Wrangler or some of the early guys... George Payne.

Jerry Pike?
Thatís not an unsung legend. Heís doing films all the time.

Domonique Simone?
These are unsung legends? The guys are out there all the time, theyíre on tons of tapes. Iím sayin guys from the early years of porn, the pioneers, who are the unsung heroes probably.

Any other ones, any stories you remember like Harry Reems? Did you ever get involved with him at all?
Yeah, he was a real good guy. I did shows that he was on. We did a film together with me, Harry Reems and John Holmes, you guys probably have it, "WPINK TV " with me, Christy Canyon. It was the one time that me, Harry and John Holmes all worked in the the same movie. We had a lot of fun. It was a gas. They actually were good guys. I liked Harry a lot more than John Holmes cause John Holmes used to lie a lot. He would always say one thing and you never could take him seriously. It turns out that he had a wife that no one knew about. He had a child nobody knew about. Whenever he spoke, you couldnít take him seriously. He was a nice guy. He cracked lots of jokes. He was fun to be with, but he lied a lot. Harry Reems was a lot more sincere, and Harry was kind of a sweet guy. A funny story with one of the guys is Bobby Astor. They used to use this hot sungun, they call it the C-light. When theyíre shooting a porno film, you ever notice that the genitals are really lit up, yet the rest of the scene is dark, ícause they have light shining right smack on the penis and the vagina. So they had one underneath Bobbyís legs cause he was doing this up and over position and his balls started to singe and the hairs on his balls started to curl up. They were actually burning, but nobody knew it until all of a sudden we see smoke below his balls, this is a true story, and he screeches and yells and jumps up in the air and does a nose dive right into the pool and then we realize that theyíre burning his balls. Thatís one of the stories I have about Bobby Astor. One of the funniest guys in porn. He now is still living with Samantha Fox after twenty years... still living together.

But you were kind of lit on fire there too, in that "Bloopers " thing. What was that about?
Oh, that was funny. They caught me sleeping. They put a match in my shoes, an old stupid joke and they light the match. Thatís infantile behaviour.

Jeremy will try anything Can you prepare yourself this? Like when you go to sleep, are you aware that somethingís gonna happen?
Those are real bloopers! Those arenít jokes. I have a problem of falling asleep in this awful position, so these guys come along with that same old stupid joke - they put someoneís penis right near my face and snap a picture.

It drips onto your face doesnít it?
That doesnít happen, no. Always a trooper!

One blooper it dripped on your face!
It did not! I never saw this in my life!

Youíre the host of it - "Boobs, Butts and Bloopers Vol. 2 ".
Yup. One guy was smart cause he woke me up. Iím there like (snores), this big black guy - Ray Victory - puts his schlong near my face and the director John goes "Ron!", I go "Wha?" Snap! My eyes wide open, a big schlong right here, so I sucked on it. No, I didnít, Iím joking! To see if your paying attention. (laughs)

Is Long Dong real?
No.

What is that then?
Long Dong Silver, the Texas Longhorn, Moe Biggsley, all the two penises on one guy and all the hermaphrodites are all fake. I hate to say it, but itís true. Thereís no such thing as a hermaphrodite working in porn, ícause real hermaphrodites if you ever see one, and they used one in Felliniís "Satyricon ", the penis is usually very, very small, it cannot get hard that easily and it has a vagina and I heard that youíre a hermaphrodite!

Thank you Ron Jeremy! Do you ever search the Net for porn? Like what does the real Ron Jeremy, Ron Jeremy, do? Like are you dating? Do you search the net for porn? Do you live it, love it, rock and roll it? Like, whatís the deal, Ron Jeremy?
Thatís a hell of a question.

Do you research your lines ícause in that movie "Snatchbucklers"... Do you remember a movie "Snatchbucklers"?
I played a pirate. We shot in Catalina on a real pirate ship. They rented a very expensive pirate ship on that. That was a good movie.

íCause youíre dressed as a pirate and youíre saying "Barbara, weíre practically married, and weíve barely made love." Like those are great lines!
I think I wrote some of those.

And that one with the midget: "Hey, youíve been saving up? ".
Thatís good! You know, 2 Live Crew did an album thatís out right now in stores called "Shake Your Little..." something. Itís the 2 Live Crewís new album. They actually took one of my routines in a porno film and sampled it on tape and made it a song called "My Dick". Itís called "My D**k". Itís actually in stores now and itís my voice in a movie and I belong to BMI. I said these guys gotta pay me for this. My lines are now winding up on records!

So what does the real Ron Jeremy do? Youíre here now showing us the vids, you did something last night actually.
I saw Metallica at a concert last night. I was hanging out with Lars Ulrich whoís a friend of mine, the drummer.

Grandpa Munster and one of the Coreys 

freaks out w/Ron Are there gonna be movies we can look forward to in the future ...your with now Rodney Dangerfield I understand?
Yeah, its called "Meet Wally Sparks" with Rodney Dangerfield. Iím in stores right now in a film with Corey Feldman and Al Lewis called "Southbeach Academy" and Iím working on another film coming up with maybe Patrick Swayze in it. Itís called "Denial". I got a bunch of projects up ahead.

Any XXX features that youíre gonna be working on, right now?
Well, the "Divine Brown" film just hit the stores. Thatís the famous Hugh Grant scandal. We got a good sense of humour, itís called "Sunset and Divine: A Doc-Hugh-Drama", get it? And then we got a bunch of other scandals coming up too. A few more celebrities might do porn. Weíre working on a few more exciting things.

Are you friends with Buttafuoco too?
Yes. Buttafuocoís in my rap video, Its a killer video. They had it on CNN and Hard Copy because it had Heidi Fleiss, Bobbitt and Buttofuoco in the same video with Lynn Redgrave, Al Lewis, Ray "Boom Boom" Mancini, Cory Feldman. Its a killer video so hopefully you guys will watch it. It's that video for the song "Freak of the Week" that helps sell the tape.

Ron Jeremy, have you ever worn a condom?
Yes, many times. You know when? With your mom! I did it again. I did it again!

Thank you so much for speaking to me, Ron Jeremy. I really appreciate it.
You know what she said (Mrs Nardwuar) as the sperm gurgled in her mouth, she said, "Rrrrrrron, dddonít gggo" and I said, "Please swallow" and she said, "I canít its too special" Iím sorry, Iím just kidding.

Thank you Ron Jeremy, thank you. Ron Jeremy, anything youíd like to add to the people out there, any comments for the people of Canada? Anything to add to be remembered for? Its not over for Ron Jeremy, but is there any other stuff youíd like to add?
Thats a lot of pressure. Thanks. Any great last words for the people of Canada?

Ron's Special Looks for the Camera Do you have any special looks for the camera, perhaps. You know, one of those classic Ron Jeremy looks at the end of the movies.
No I donít! (relenting) The eyebrow lift (moves eyebrow). Wait, wait. Want to see the whole scalp, watch this! One ear. This one (now) this one...nose. Kiss my own... ain't gonna do that!

Elephant, elephant, can you do an elephant?
Oh, youíre very good. The elephantís where you pull it out of your pants, pull your pockets out of your pants, Milton Berle did this, and go back and forth going, making elephant noises you know. I canít do that here, though. Can you show penises on this TV show?

Ron's chopper 'copter talent! Sure go ahead. Weíd love to see it.
Thatís a lot of pressure, thatís a lot of pressure.

Thatís the helicopter, right.
That too! You saw that one also. "Centerfold Fever" where I twirl clockwise and counter clockwise like a tassle.

And you are Ron Jeremy! Well thanks very much Ron Jeremy. We really appreciate your time and keep on rocking in the free world. And Doot doola doot doo.
What am I supposed to say after that? Oh doot, doot? (laughs) I gonna look dumb on Canadian television. Iíve got a reputation Iíve got to uphold. Well, not that good of a reputation, but I got to uphold it anyway!


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