Nardwuar vs. Ron Jeremy!

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What would it take for a guy like me to get into the porn industry, what would it take Ron Jeremy, Oh Learned One?
(Deep breath) How big is your penis?(Laughs) RJ behind the scenes

I heard you need a girlfriend or a boyfriend. Itís good to break in in pairs.
In your case it would take a lot of money (laughs). Nah, Iím kidding. A girlfriend would work. He calls me Hedgehog, fair is fair guys! They turn like rabid dogs, they turn on you, you know and Iíll tell you, no, you have to have a girl. Any guy can get in the biz. Itís ícause the guys are just props. You can get in the business all kidding aside. Anyone can. The girl sells the tapes. The fact is, (pointing to promo shot) see the pretty girls? People say is this an old picture of me? Well, I donít know, but sheís a grandma and sheís dead. But the fact is, guys are just props because people want to see the pretty woman. No matter whoís in the film, whether itís me, Rocko, Peter North, Tom Byron, whoís on the box cover? Itís usually the girl. íCause guys fantasize about the girl. So you can get a job, but the thing is if you want to get a job you have to bring a pretty girl with you for the job.

So you break in as a pair. Who did you break in with?
Oh God, it was a girl named Claudia about eighteen years ago and the same thing with me, I went out with a girl to get started, but back in those days I had done Playgirl Magazine in 1978 when I had something called a waist. Now Iím getting offers from Field and Stream. But back then when I was skinny I did Playgirl Magazine and then they actually approached me to be in a porno film ícause then I didnít really have to bring a girl, but I did anyway. It was all film acting. They wanted actors and I had done some theatre in New York and between the theatre and the Playgirl Magazine, I was able to get a job. But now, thereís so many people who want to, itís such a mainstream thing that you have to go with a girl. A single guy canít get a job.

How about with oddities like Peter North, how does he get all that spew? Is that real, Ron Jeremy? You know, that Peter North spew is incredible isnít it?
Well, itís not real Ron Jeremy, itís real Peter North (chuckles)! Itís the real thing, yeah. I call him "The Decorator" í cause he totally decorates the girlís face. You know what kills me, when guys actually ask him...weíll be alongside doing a videostore appearance and guys ask him, "Whatís your secret, how do you do that? ", and it occurs to me, why do they really care? Like, why does a guy whoís not in porn need to spew like that? I mean itís the feeling that matters. You wanna feel good and you have an orgasm.

Well guys wanna know. I heard you only get 10,000 spurts and guys wanna know. Is it true, Ron Jeremy, guys only get 10,000 spurts?
Frankly, who cares? I mean, you think a girl cares?

You might be sterile? Are you sterile, Ron Jeremy?
The people just wanna know like how does Peter North do it? Iím saying like, picture your girlfriend or your wife and you wanna learn how to pop all over her face or wanna get real wet all over her stomach, sheí ll go "Thanks, what, you had to learn how to do this?" Why does a guy in the real world need to do this? If youíre in porno you wanna do a nice, good wet shot, but in real life as long as it feels good, who cares how much comes out?

Well how may have you done? How many spurts have you done, estimated, Ron Jeremy...1800 films?
Iíve done about a thousand three hundred. Well, me and Tom Byron hold the worldís record and weíve done about 1300 movies, both of us. Not throwing in the towel

How about girl spurt, like Sarah Jane Hamilton?
Yeah, Sarah Jane Hamilton, Fallon , a few girls can actually do that. Itís called female ejaculation. What it is, a gynecologist told me, itís bartholomew gland secretion. Itís a clear fluid that girls can just flop out of their vagina. Sometimes a girl will actually add a little bit of urine to it when you see sometimes it comes out of the urethra.

Itís very technical.
It is ícause people always ask me this question. The real squirt has to be clear fluid and it comes out of the vagina. And like when theyíre climaxing, they move their muscles in such a way that it releases that bartholomew gland secretion from the bartholomew gland. Not all girls can do it. A lot of guys say, "My wifeíll get to do it." Iím saying no, not all girls can do it and once again, a girl can have a great orgasm and not do that. Just ícause they have a lot of fluid doesnít mean it feels any better or any worse.

Ron Jeremy, what does a woman taste like?
Like your mom! Iím sorry! Iím sorry! (Laughs). They taste great! it depends what they had for dinner that night. How do I know? Anchovies? I donít know. I like the way they taste. They taste nice.

Ron Jeremy, what does a man taste like?
Iím asking you and your cameraman the same question. I have no idea.

Well you partook in a movie..."Sulkaís Wedding" Who is Sulka and what was it like meeting Sulka. What is Sulka?
She was a girl when I worked with her. It was the only time I worked with a man-made vagina and it was a very weird experience. She had a pussy and it was created by man. She had an artificially-made vagina so I worked with her ícause she was a girl and of course, man-made, and I didnít really taste her. I never gave her head, but we did a scene together and it was okay. I mean it felt a little uncomfortable ícause...you know..yeeuch!! But again, ha! ha! ha! Iím the kind of guy that does things like that. I never worked with a man in my whole life, but she was a girl.

Youíve worked with yourself! Marilyn Manson...the guy from Marilyn Manson apparently had some ribs removed so he could perform auto-fellatio on himself.
Marilyn Manson, this I didnít know.

What is it like performing autofellatio, Ron Jeremy?
Well, I make sure to wear a rubber í cause I donít know where my face has been, you know. I donít trust me and I get into a fight with myself, I say "Take me out to dinner!" "No! " "Yes!" I fight with myself.

Did Seka drive you to do this? What was it like working with Seka, Ron Jeremy?
That was the film that we did - "Inside Seka " - where I do my little auto-fellatio routine. It was goofy. I knew I could do that before they gave me that job. I discovered that when I was in Boy Scouts. I was actually tieing my shoes and I kissed my own dick and said "This seems very strange!" So I asked my dad, I was in my teens, "Is this normal?" He goes "Certainly not!" Little did he realize then, Iíd be making money on it ten years later.

How exactly does Bobbitt work, Ron Jeremy? How does it work for him? Where was it cut?
Iíll tell you a real secret that actually we didnít say to the press before, but the fact is, is that for a couple of the scenes that we did in the John Wayne Bobbitt film, he has to use a medication called "prostiglandin", which is an enzyme you shoot into the penis on the spongy tissues. It gives you an automatic hardon. Even after an orgasm youíll stay hard a little bit. He did a couple of scenes on his own and a few scenes he needed the help of the enzyme. It was tough for him because doing porno scenes isnít easy to begin with and when your penis has been chopped off and reattached, itís certainly difficult. Weíre doing a mainstream movie about his life. They say Robert De Niro is gonna play John Bobbitt and Danny Devitoís gonna play his penis. Ha! Ha! Ha! Thatís pretty funny, huh? You know how he used to masterbate? Like this!! (Makes gesture)

Mr. Lorena Bobbit freaks Are there any ridges on John Wayne Bobbittís penis? Ridges, stitchmarks, how does it look?
Yes, any of you guys see the movie "John Wayne Bobbitt Uncut "? You can actually see the stitchmarks. I mean it looks pretty frightening in some angles. Then he went and made it bigger. He did a sequel called "Frankenpenis " where he added length...the doctor in Culver City who does extensions... and they made it thicker by putting fatty tissue into it. Looks like a sack of potatoes. Itís scary looking. It is thicker than it was before. In fact, I always use celebrities in dialogue scenes. In the original "Bobbitt ", we had Lemmy from Motorhead and Vince Neil from Motley Crue, theyíre in the movie doing dialogue. In the sequel "Frankenpenis" we have Ice-T doing a cameo. I hope you realise that I stick these people in these movies you know.

Are there many uncircumsized guys in porn like Sean Michaels? Why arenít there more uncircumsised guys in porn, Ron Jeremy?
Well, Sean Michaels is an Afro-American you see, heís black. Most white guys in porn are circumsised. Itís just like it is in most of America. Porn is a cross-section of America. All Jews are circumsised all over the world. But in America, most white guys are circumsised. But in porn...actually some arenít. Thereís no real rhyme or reason to it, just the majority of white people, Christians and Jews are usually circumsised. With a show of hands, how many guys here are not circumsised? (Looks to crowd) "One, two, three... " See? Looks like sixty guys, only three are not circumsised. So most men in Canada, America and Mexico are circumsised. A fascinating topic that was!


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